Dumbing Down the Flipper Baby Generation.

Posted: August 24, 2012 by joevolante in All The Things
Tags: , , , , , , ,

If you live in America and turn on a television on occasion then you probably know the Todd Akin story by now. If you missed it, Mr. Akin, is running for Missouri Senate and he said something stupid on the magic box that gives people opinions so they don’t have to form them manually.  On the topic of his pro life stance and rape induced pregnancy he said this…

“It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare, If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something: I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”

Now the whole country has either been up this guys ass or around his throat for the legitimate rape thing but that is not my  angle, I think the ‘let’s hope Mr. Akin is taught about legitimate rape by a group of well endowed elephants’ debate has been done to death.  It is a couple other parts of what he said that are bothering me right now.  First off, what fucking doctors has he been talking too and why was he asking his doctor about the odds of rape related pregnancy?  That is just not a normal doctor to patient conversation, sounds more like a creepy uncle in a small tent conversation to me. ‘You know boy, them lady bits break down and don’t work right if you give yer girl a good scare first, look at me, no kids after I began intercourse in that pig mask, woohoo, let’s wrassle’.  So for what ever reason, Mr. Akin gets some really shaky ideas from a mid 18th century doctor and he says, sounds good to me. Then he goes on air and repeats them?  Why does it seem that so many of the people that are representing American citizens in D.C. Don’t know how to use a goddamn search engine?  Holy shit, Huckleberry, it takes about ten minutes of your time to just sit down and see if the thing you just heard either bares repeating or should possibly be further investigated.  the real plum in this Akin pie is that he serves on the Committee for Science, Space and Technology.  Why is there a person that doesn’t get the basic premise of fact checking on a science committee?  We have, at our fingertips, the knowledge of the ages.  We can learn almost infinite facts at any time of the day or night, no need to even turn a page much less wade through a library, skimming tables of contents until you find what you are searching for.  Hell, even if you do have to go find an actual book now, you don’t have to fight with a card catalog that has been molested daily by a sticky fingered child with an unexplained hatred for Mevil Dewey, you just use a computer, easy peasy, brainy squeezy.  Defenders of Mr. Akin will say this is all taken out of context and he “Misspoke” but I think he is just hiding the fact that he still has dial up and can’t be bothered to read much.

The second thing I have to point out is the part of his statement where he says, “ I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”  So no mention of the woman involved here huh?  In case you don’t know, Akin co-sponsored a bill called the Sanctity of Life Act, which would be a stepping stone toward forcing women to have the child in the event of rape, incest and even if it would kill the mother because nothing makes for a better youth than knowing that you are the reason mommy can’t make it to the baseball game. Why is the pocket of cell growth so much more important than the person nurturing it?  Well, a grown woman or at least a woman of birthing age has already formed her opinions and most likely begun to decide her political, religious and social views. Where as a baby has not formed its own ideas and can be more easily formed to be a cog in the machine.  Religious and political leaders are really good at playing the long con and making sure America is flooded with poor, under educated, hungry, inbred flipper babies makes for a stronger religious and nationalist base in the future.

That being said I would like to point out a few other problems with the Sanctity of Life Act while I am on the subject.  Most of the people that back the ideals in this bill call themselves small government Conservatives.  They claim they want to shrink the size and scope of governmental power but it is really only in the case of monetary and ecological regulations that they want to pull back so they can make more cash.  Policing the uterus would take massive amounts of resources.  Trying to keep up with who is pregnant as well as making women face jail time or even the death penalty for miscarrying as Georgia State Rep.,  Bobby Franklin suggested in his 2010 bill would sap billions from an already struggling economy.  Then you have the simple fact that a child would be born nine months old, the Census Bereau would go crazy trying to get an accurate count of all those unborn people.  What of baptisms, wouldn’t those have to be done with some sort of holy water douche now?  Would birthdays disappear, being replaced by a conception day, what would that cake look like?  That is what you want on your special day, blowing out the candles while your dad regales you with stories about how he didn’t wear a rubber and went one pump over the line and spends the whole day calling you ‘Little squirt’ like it’s the best joke ever?

With so many disconnected fucking morons in positions of power and influence it can  make you feel like it would have been better if your dad had just shot you into the sheets.

Later- Joe

Comments
  1. M says:

    There’s still the problem, in my mind, of why abortion is a problem to Christians at all. There are myriad biblical passages dealing with heaven and the hope of the world to come. Pretty much the whole point of this little soft-shoe we call Christianity, is to get your ass there as soon as possible, is it not? Who is more spotless (other than Christ) than an unborn child? Those little dismembered fetii are in the express line through the pearly gates, creating a whole (well, not in body) tiny little gore-soaked army of Christian soldiers just waiting for Armageddon to wreak their havoc on the armies of the Beast, Small Soldiers style. Let those little fuckers grow up a bit, and they may have a thought that this whole Jesus thing might be another load of pablum, a’ la Santa or the Easter Bunny, that their parents feed them in an effort to make them stop being such a pain in the ass. Doesn’t make for a very strong constituency.

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